Warning: Entering Incoherent Rant

Today's menu contains one item and one item only. That item is potpourri. However, that particular item happens to inherently consist of many items, but the point is, it's just a bunch of random shit I feel like writing right now. But, I will try to string them all together with one very important connection: this is all stuff that pisses the crap out of me. Please, take heart in the tortured emotional and self-induced physical pain stressing out about these annoyances affords me, and enjoy!

Ok, what the shit. If you applied for a job, then you wanted to get a job. No one "made" you, no one forced you. You got an application and you applied and then you even accepted. You made several conscious decisions to end up where you are, so if you can't handle performing your job without complaining about it, then quit. And if you can't do that, quit talking to me about it. I've got a solution for you: shut the crap up. You know why you're getting paid 7 bucks an hour to do it? Because whoever hired your reject ass did it out of the kindness of his or her (ok, his) heart and disappointed one very ready and eager half-trained chimpanzee that probably would have done the job with less complaining, greater efficieny, less demands or benefits, and probably less feces throwing. The point is, you're probably not doing skilled labor, and there are a lot of 6 year olds in Uganda that have a lot more right to complain about having to do bitch work than you. Lucky for me, kids are meant to be seen, not heard. Furthermore, I also think they should be laughed at and subsequently punted, and not seen. But I digress. The point is, I don't like kids, and shut up. Money doesn't make you better than me, just happier, richer, and more useful to society. By the way, here's a quick test to determine if your job is skilled labor and therefore considered useful to me. Please answer yes or no: 1) Are you paid less than $20 an hour? 2) Does the other person your dad hired to do the same job as you get paid 75% of what you do? Scoring: If you answered yes to the above questions, you would be more valuable to society as a traffic cone. The kind you run over.

Here's something that pisses me off, cause I know you want to hear it. You're going to hear it...if you speak the following paragraph out loud. Otherwise you'll just scroll past it because it's way too long to "waste" your time on. After all, you've got important NOTHING to do on the internet that you do every damn day anyway. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that. Holy crap, just thinking about how angry this topic makes me has caused me to not want to write any more tonight. It was about people saying certain drugs or substances are OK to use because they're "natural", as in, found in nature. The next time I hear this reasoning, I'm going to tell the guilty party to go make out with an "all natural" King Cobra because his or her (ok, her) ignorance manages to ruin my life on a regular basis by causing me to be markedly disappointed that I am associated with modern society through the loose affiliation of sharing the same base genetic make up. On second thought, I don't feel angry or frustrated, I just feel like complete shit right now. I need to go watch TV. Sorry, I'll try to be funny tomorrow, I just lost my muse, along with my will to live. Thanks a lot, society. Pucker up.